Recent media hyperbole has Violet Blue wondering where the G-spot wandered off to, again
Thursday, February 28, 2008OK, so I was at NOPA last night drinking a delicious absinthe cocktail, and my male companion said something rude, so I left. I was angry: I packed up my pussy and went home, and yes, I know should not have been driving after a cocktail. But when I woke up the next morning, I could find only my keys.
I spent the afternoon wandering around the Castro trying to find where I parked my G-spot. Only to discover that when I got home, some Italian researchers had told the press that I might not have even had one in the first place. How the hell did I get home?
Full disclosure: I just wrote a book called The Smart Girl's Guide to the G-Spot (see also tinynibbles.com/gspot), with fresh facts — and it's a take-no-prisoners, hold the granola guide to the fact that every single biological female has a G-spot (and how to have fun with it).
So why the new controversy about the G-spot?
Perhaps because in Italy last week, someone did some G-spot spelunking using the "two hands and a flashlight" method. The BBC reported:
"The latest research, published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, was carried out (by) the Dr. Emmanuele Jannini at the University of L'Aquila, and involved just 20 women.
Ultrasound was used to measure the size and shape of the tissue beyond the 'front' wall of the vagina, often suggested as the location of the G-spot. In the nine women who reported being able to achieve vaginal orgasm, the tissues between the vagina and the urethra — which carries urine out of the body — were on average thicker than in the 11 women who could not reach orgasm this way."
Reading this reminded me of the good old days of Plato's wandering uterus. Remember those? Good times. Mine always wanders back, like a raccoon in the Haight that remembers where you used to set out the cat food. I love rehashed myths — especially about the existence of the G-spot — but the piece about Jannini's study in New Scientist distorts the accuracy of anatomical fact even further:
"For the first time it is possible to determine by a simple, rapid and inexpensive method if a woman has a G-spot or not," says Emmanuele Jannini ... Those women who suspect they may not have a G-spot need not despair. "They can still have a normal orgasm through stimulation of the clitoris," Jannini says."
Once again, the G-spot has become "elusive." There's something that may or may not be missing in your sexual bits that'll make you deficient as a woman, and the whole thing reeks of ... oh, wait. Read the fine print and you'll see that Pfizer sponsored the study. Maybe Big Pharma and not City Tow has my damn G-spot, after all.
Don't believe the newest round of G-hype. The G-spot is not a riddle wrapped inside a mystery surrounded by an enigma, and there is no doubt that every woman has one. It's not buried deep in our "mystery caves," nor do we need help finding it, nor are our lovers going to end up on the FAIL blog if they can't "hit it."
News flash to news outlets: The vagina ceased to be a mystery at least 40 years ago. The G-spot is a real, tangible thing, and you can even see it if you have a bio-vagina, or know someone who will let you take a G-peep. It is a real place inside the body, and you don't need ultrasound to find it. And again, I'll contradict the reporting and say that yes, some women find it to be incredible for orgasms, while others don't like the sensation so much. It isn't a "magic button" for all girls: But that in no way means a woman cannot have, enjoy, or break windows all the way down to Twin Peaks and back screaming in joy from vaginal orgasms.
Myths about the G-spot you're seeing in these mainstream news sources:
- Not every woman has one.
- Every woman likes G-spot stimulation.
- There's a test to find it, and only one "right" way to touch it.
- Touching it will make you incontinent, and female ejaculation is urine. (It is not.)
- Any other orgasms are inferior to a G-spot orgasm.
If you're squeamish about female anatomy, skip the next two paragraphs, but if you want to know what the hell a G-spot is or why anyone wants to find one, read on because I'm about to describe the Batcave, and why Batgirl rode a motorcycle.
Yes, the clitoris is our smug little princess of pleasure on the outside, but just inside the entrance to the vagina — forward on the body, toward the bellybutton (or City Hall, from my house, wave "Hi" to Gavin!). This is where urine exits the female body, and you can see it. It is called the urethra. She, to the best of my knowledge, is not in (or yet sainted by) the local chapter of our Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, but she damn well should be.
The urethra is your marker for this buried treasure, or pirate booty, depending on your approach. Surrounding the urethra, varying in size, and beneath the urethra and surrounding vaginal wall is an area of spongy erectile tissue, similar to that of the penis. This tissue is interconnected with the complex clitoral system and laced with little glands. Generally speaking, it's about 1-2 inches inside the vagina. Sometimes it can feel really good when a girl is turned on and firm massage or vibration is applied; sometimes it just makes you feel like you have to pee — not a very sexy feeling for a number of people.
It's a complex bundle of joy, but it's not an either/or equation, nor do you need Google Maps to find it. Maybe Google Street View. But research has supported our Gs for decades (see my book and Rebecca Chalker's "The Clitoral Truth," "Our Bodies, Ourselves" and Whipple and Perry's ancient tome based on all their research papers "The G-Spot"). So the news just isn't news at all.
I mean hell — they don't even tell you why it's called a "G." It's so girls can kick your ass at Scrabble, of course.